tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7240705243908950796.post8833991498804956410..comments2022-12-20T07:32:13.068-08:00Comments on Healing and Hope: Disorder in the Courts: Mothers and Their Allies Take on the Family Court SystemLundy Bancrofthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18047691631730498583noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7240705243908950796.post-89905672778282596752010-05-08T13:03:32.993-07:002010-05-08T13:03:32.993-07:00Dear Lundy, five years ago I was at one of your co...Dear Lundy, five years ago I was at one of your conferences in Kalamazoo, Michigan. I was sitting at a table and wiping away the tears silently because I was losing custody of my babies and I knew it. When you signed my book, When Dad Hurts Mom, you commented where I was in the process. I told you I was getting my degree and would join you in the fight of helpig non custodial mothers. Please visit my web site at www.abusedswan.com. I have 16 other non custodial mothers with the same judge I have and tomorrow is mothers day. We will be walking around the court house seven times silently praying. I have not seen my children in over a year, and my story is unbelieable. Anyone can email me at theunitedwaycase@gmail.com and in the subject line just ask for my case info. I will send you information in attachments. Thank you for all that you do to help educate others about domestic violence and the family courts.Little Red Robin Hoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03953099529873794511noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7240705243908950796.post-22914537826923128262009-11-22T07:32:01.357-08:002009-11-22T07:32:01.357-08:00I left my violent and abusive husband on Jan. 8, 2...I left my violent and abusive husband on Jan. 8, 2009 and have been dealing with the legal system pretty much since then. I just got sole legal and physical custody of my children this past Sept 10, 2009, after my sociopathic husband filed for custody of the children the day after the children and I were placed in a DV shelter. <br /><br />The court system is a terrible place for women who finally found the courage to leave these men. The men attempt to punish us by taking our children, and the court system wittingly or unwittingly often helps them accomplish just that.<br /><br />Why is it so easy for the lay person to find out the stats on DV and the perpetrators of it and the games they play, yet professionals whose very jobs center around this very issue seem so blind and ignorant of it? They make decisions that can have long term devastating repercussions into lives of people who are already damaged. <br /><br />I was blessed with the outcome I received, but I give God the credit with it. I am a Christian and trust God completely. All I can say is that I had to do very little fighting. <br /><br />I had to show up at court over and over again and the experience was scary and emotionally draining. I was pregnant while I was going through a lot of it. I was 3 months pregnant when I left him.<br /><br />My faith got me through it and in the end God gave me the victory over his lies and he actually ended up signing a settlement that I authored on custody, visitation and the orders of protection. <br /><br />This man that hired a lawyer and began to pursue me through the court system for 8 months, agreed to everything I proposed as if he had no choice. It was beyond incredible, it was a miracle. <br /><br />I know most women would not have the experience that I did. Most will have to go through some agonizing decisions rendered by the court. I can still feel their pain, because I know what it's like to just want to get away from an evil man and build a life of peace and safety for you and your children, only to have the creep continue to force his way in. <br /><br />My children and I are still rebuilding our lives and have moved 4 times in the past 10 months. We are currently staying in the basement of a friend. I am trying to find where I can fit into this fight against domestic violence. It is beyond a tragedy and affects more people than anyone can ever really know and what we do know is terrible enough. <br /><br />For now I too have started writing about my experience in an effort to offer hope, inspiration, and validation for others. It also is therapy for my healing. <br /><br />My journey can be found at: www.TeesSeasonsofLife.blogspot.comTeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01600459932009604986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7240705243908950796.post-76800405875909588242009-11-03T19:24:53.145-08:002009-11-03T19:24:53.145-08:00http://www.mrstomiss.blogspot.com This book was li...http://www.mrstomiss.blogspot.com This book was life-changing for me! One of the most insightful things that Mr. Bancroft reveals is that most of these emotionally abusive men cannot be excused or understood due to some personality disorder or issue (we often excuse their behavior thinking it's some deep-seeded thing that can't help). When he tells us that most of them know what they're doing is wrong, they simply don't care, and they keep treating the women in their lives this way simply because the can get away with it ... it gives us a righteous anger and motivation to leave.<br /><br /><br /><br />Feel free to follow me on my own journey as I get ready to leave an emotionally abusive husband (with two kids and one on the way): just type in mrstomiss.blogspotMrs to Misshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14147681184079330771noreply@blogger.com